Natminab is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, dishonourable grasshopper.

Natminab created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Natminab, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Natminab, he will turn you into a dog.

Natminab's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Natminab's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Natminab.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not take Natminab's name in vain.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.