Honjansafxen is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, flying cow.

Honjansafxen created humanity seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Honjansafxen, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Honjansafxen, she will turn you into a hamster.

Honjansafxen's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Honjansafxen's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never hurt monkeys.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always help sick turtles.