Jopfasbossbog Jabfutbit is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, wise crow.

Jopfasbossbog Jabfutbit created the Milkyway seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopfasbossbog Jabfutbit, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jopfasbossbog Jabfutbit, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jopfasbossbog Jabfutbit's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Jopfasbossbog Jabfutbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick badgers.

2. Never eat beans.

3. Never wear purple jumpers.

4. Always help grasshopers in need.

5. Never bounce in the presence of snakes.