Largbesslim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, temperamental pigeon.

Largbesslim created oxygen two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largbesslim, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Largbesslim, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Largbesslim's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Largbesslim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Largbesslim.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.