Gaddabvenhuggubfumnur is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, annoying crab.

Gaddabvenhuggubfumnur created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gaddabvenhuggubfumnur, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gaddabvenhuggubfumnur, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gaddabvenhuggubfumnur's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Gaddabvenhuggubfumnur's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to doves while wearing blue corsets.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gaddabvenhuggubfumnur.

3. You must love Gaddabvenhuggubfumnur.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. You must never eat onions.