Mabponmum Daghakkadflow is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, idiotic grasshopper.

Mabponmum Daghakkadflow created silver seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabponmum Daghakkadflow, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mabponmum Daghakkadflow, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Mabponmum Daghakkadflow's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Mabponmum Daghakkadflow's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat rats with great respect.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not eat lentils.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never feed garlic to sharks while wearing cyan rings.