Gutflisbam Gamgamsig is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, blissful snail.

Gutflisbam Gamgamsig created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutflisbam Gamgamsig, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gutflisbam Gamgamsig, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gutflisbam Gamgamsig's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Gutflisbam Gamgamsig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not eat cucumbers.

4. Gutflisbam Gamgamsig must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always pray immersed in water.