Genvedtonk is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, overgenerous walrus.

Genvedtonk created dark matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Genvedtonk, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Genvedtonk, it will come to you in dreams.

Genvedtonk's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Genvedtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

4. Do not wear brown clothing.

5. Always stare at clouds.