Jopgidlid is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, conceited spider.

Jopgidlid created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopgidlid, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jopgidlid, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jopgidlid's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Jopgidlid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Put Jopgidlid first in all things.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.