Lapcudwod Kimtofgep Zignutsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, happy monkey.

Lapcudwod Kimtofgep Zignutsaf created the Cigar Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Lapcudwod Kimtofgep Zignutsaf, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lapcudwod Kimtofgep Zignutsaf, she will be very sad.

Lapcudwod Kimtofgep Zignutsaf's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Lapcudwod Kimtofgep Zignutsaf's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Lapcudwod Kimtofgep Zignutsaf.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.