Tifbeparf is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, all-powerful cobra.

Tifbeparf created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifbeparf, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tifbeparf, he will turn you into a hamster.

Tifbeparf's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Tifbeparf's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Hide from turquoise grasshopers for they are unholy.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Run away if five cats approach from the north.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.