Talabdun Tigquamcib is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, awe-inspiring hummingbird.

Talabdun Tigquamcib created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Talabdun Tigquamcib, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Talabdun Tigquamcib, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Talabdun Tigquamcib's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Talabdun Tigquamcib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.