Gemnullquatquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, blissful centipede.

Gemnullquatquaf created the Milkyway seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemnullquatquaf, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gemnullquatquaf, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Gemnullquatquaf's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Gemnullquatquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Worship no other gods but Gemnullquatquaf.

5. Fast once a month.