Fitkipnan is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unthinking wasp.

Fitkipnan created a down quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitkipnan, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fitkipnan, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fitkipnan's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Fitkipnan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always look after injured gulls.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not speak about melons.