Goffastig Getkopbest is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, emotional cobra.

Goffastig Getkopbest created the Tadpole Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Goffastig Getkopbest, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Goffastig Getkopbest, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Goffastig Getkopbest's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Goffastig Getkopbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not kill capybaras.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Goffastig Getkopbest on top of all buildings.