Stanrutomin is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, emotional goblin.

Stanrutomin created the solar system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanrutomin, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stanrutomin, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Stanrutomin's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Stanrutomin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Run away if three dolphins approach from the west.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not listen to music.