Higtettiveglam is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, omniscient yak.

Higtettiveglam created matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Higtettiveglam, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Higtettiveglam, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Higtettiveglam's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Higtettiveglam's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Higtettiveglam loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Higtettiveglam.