Flatsidflig is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, impressive duck.

Flatsidflig created silver six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatsidflig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flatsidflig, it will turn you into a sheep.

Flatsidflig's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Flatsidflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Never paint your back purple.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. You must pray to Flatsidflig six times a day.