Batnilfun is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, bad-tempered seal.

Batnilfun created a photon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Batnilfun, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Batnilfun, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Batnilfun's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Batnilfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

3. Run away if five mites approach from the east.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Do not shave your legs.