Dapbug Tailbuthon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, compassionate giraffe.

Dapbug Tailbuthon created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Dapbug Tailbuthon, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dapbug Tailbuthon, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Dapbug Tailbuthon's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Dapbug Tailbuthon's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dapbug Tailbuthon.

2. Hide from pink badgers for they are unholy.

3. Never hurt ants.

4. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

5. Do not kill great tits.