Jopgodbigab is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, tranquil guinea pig.

Jopgodbigab created Asia three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopgodbigab, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jopgodbigab, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jopgodbigab's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Jopgodbigab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to sharks while wearing orange shoes.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always help goats.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.