Betjigveen is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, prudent skunk.

Betjigveen created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Betjigveen, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Betjigveen, she will be very unhappy.

Betjigveen's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Betjigveen's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not kill pigs.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.