Bamcudflis is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, sapient dolphin.

Bamcudflis created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bamcudflis, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bamcudflis, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bamcudflis' most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Bamcudflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always help sick aardvarks.

5. Do not drink water in gray rooms.