Nurgupran Cabyarquill is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, staggering porpoise.

Nurgupran Cabyarquill created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurgupran Cabyarquill, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurgupran Cabyarquill, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Nurgupran Cabyarquill's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Nurgupran Cabyarquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.