Camtarpin Watvagkam is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, self-assured yak.

Camtarpin Watvagkam created water four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Camtarpin Watvagkam, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Camtarpin Watvagkam, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Camtarpin Watvagkam's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Camtarpin Watvagkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not eat aubergines.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Run away if eight goats approach from the west.

5. Do not drink alcohol.