Yaktetti is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unthinking squid.

Yaktetti created oxygen two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yaktetti, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yaktetti, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yaktetti's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Yaktetti's Holy Commandments

1. Yaktetti loves pigs, so they must be respected.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Yaktetti on top of all buildings.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.