Hinganneg Tabtimniltalbasttan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, awesome parrot.

Hinganneg Tabtimniltalbasttan created the Andromeda Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinganneg Tabtimniltalbasttan, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hinganneg Tabtimniltalbasttan, it will be very unhappy.

Hinganneg Tabtimniltalbasttan's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Hinganneg Tabtimniltalbasttan's Holy Commandments

1. Foxes are not to be trusted.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hinganneg Tabtimniltalbasttan.

4. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

5. Feed all hungry pigs.