Minparktab Cabsisrap is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, amazing jaguar.

Minparktab Cabsisrap created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Minparktab Cabsisrap, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Minparktab Cabsisrap, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Minparktab Cabsisrap's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Minparktab Cabsisrap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.