Cemhakwanfompit is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish bat.

Cemhakwanfompit created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cemhakwanfompit, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cemhakwanfompit, he will not care.

Cemhakwanfompit's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Cemhakwanfompit's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs gray.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.