Wigsitrillflan is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, ruthless monkey.

Wigsitrillflan created energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wigsitrillflan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wigsitrillflan, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Wigsitrillflan's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Wigsitrillflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never feed limes to frogs while wearing blue jumpers.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always help sick tapirs.

5. Always take life seriously.