Dabhamflap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-knowing lobster.

Dabhamflap created time and space eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabhamflap, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dabhamflap, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dabhamflap's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Dabhamflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about goats.

2. Do not wear iron on your body.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. You must love Dabhamflap.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.