Fitsancap is a god.

It takes the form of a small, omniscient fairy.

Fitsancap created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitsancap, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fitsancap, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fitsancap's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Fitsancap's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Fitsancap four times a day.

2. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not eat coconuts.

5. Do not dye your hair black.