Honquamcet is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate hippopotamus.

Honquamcet created snails two million years ago.

If you believe in Honquamcet, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Honquamcet, it will be very sad.

Honquamcet's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Honquamcet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Honquamcet's name in vain.

2. Never go into blue rooms.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.