Arntargwap is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, tranquil cow.

Arntargwap created an electron six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arntargwap, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Arntargwap, he will turn you into a hamster.

Arntargwap's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Arntargwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt dolphins.

2. Hide if nine squirrels approach from the south.

3. Never mention moths.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not stand on grass.