Volnulljan is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, intelligent newt.

Volnulljan created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Volnulljan, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Volnulljan, it will not care at all.

Volnulljan's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Volnulljan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt swans.

2. Do not kill doves.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about nebulae.