Yarlqueegbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, loving hedgehog.

Yarlqueegbonk created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlqueegbonk, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarlqueegbonk, she will turn you into a mole.

Yarlqueegbonk's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Yarlqueegbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.