Litwonhad is a god.

He takes the form of a large, dishonest gerbil.

Litwonhad created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Litwonhad, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Litwonhad, he will not care at all.

Litwonhad's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Litwonhad's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Litwonhad.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Litwonhad loves great tits, so they must be respected.

5. Do not jump in public.