Sathonhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, benevolent turtle.

Sathonhiv created Africa five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sathonhiv, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Sathonhiv, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Sathonhiv's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Sathonhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet manatees for they are unholy.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always help sick horses.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.