Kemjadgil is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, tiresome camel.

Kemjadgil created oxygen five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemjadgil, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kemjadgil, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Kemjadgil's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Kemjadgil's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

2. Hide from green grasshopers for they are unholy.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kemjadgil.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Kemjadgil.