Stanrigquill is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-powerful monkey.

Stanrigquill created water four million years ago.

If you believe in Stanrigquill, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Stanrigquill, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Stanrigquill's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Stanrigquill's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bread.

2. Put Stanrigquill first in all things.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Stanrigquill on top of all buildings.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Never wear red shorts.