Cetwangess Hapdossfas is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, calm penguin.

Cetwangess Hapdossfas created Africa eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetwangess Hapdossfas, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cetwangess Hapdossfas, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cetwangess Hapdossfas' most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Cetwangess Hapdossfas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat lentils.

2. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

3. Cetwangess Hapdossfas must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never eat lemons.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.