Hivmotsag is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, selfish guinea pig.

Hivmotsag created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivmotsag, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hivmotsag, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Hivmotsag's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Hivmotsag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Never paint your arms indigo.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not speak about coconuts.