Nuttflabnigdavhakbam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, able scorpion.

Nuttflabnigdavhakbam created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttflabnigdavhakbam, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nuttflabnigdavhakbam, it will jump up and down on your head.

Nuttflabnigdavhakbam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Nuttflabnigdavhakbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not speak about rice.