Tanvinbep is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, compassionate chinchilla.

Tanvinbep created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanvinbep, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tanvinbep, she will turn you into a duck.

Tanvinbep's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Tanvinbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Always look after injured aardvarks.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

4. Feed all hungry mites.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.