Danbagnak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, generous owl.

Danbagnak created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Danbagnak, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Danbagnak, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Danbagnak's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Danbagnak's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Hide from pink sharks for they are unholy.

4. Always look after injured eagles.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Danbagnak.