Bonfuthim is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, grumpy wren.

Bonfuthim created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonfuthim, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bonfuthim, he will boil you in a big pot.

Bonfuthim's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Bonfuthim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink bats for they are unholy.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always obey Bonfuthim's priests.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bonfuthim.