Null is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthinking walrus.

Null created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Null, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Null, it will throw large rocks at you.

Null's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Null's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always look after injured gulls.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always treat moths with great respect.