Negfubcidkad Satgab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unselfish armadillo.

Negfubcidkad Satgab created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Negfubcidkad Satgab, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Negfubcidkad Satgab, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Negfubcidkad Satgab's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Negfubcidkad Satgab's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never feed gooseberries to snakes while wearing cyan skirts.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Negfubcidkad Satgab loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

5. Always help sick sharks.