Zogmumyam is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, sapient bird.

Zogmumyam created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogmumyam, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zogmumyam, he will turn you into a hamster.

Zogmumyam's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Zogmumyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck orange.

2. Do not kill birds.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not cook food in pots.