Bifzagboss is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, sapient bird.

Bifzagboss created the universe three million years ago.

If you believe in Bifzagboss, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bifzagboss, he will strike you with lightening.

Bifzagboss' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bifzagboss' Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. You must pray to Bifzagboss seven times a day.

3. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.